Thursday, January 20, 2011

Fear

US Flag, DSST, Denver, Colorado
Many people get to live their daily lives with little to no fear of whats going to happen to them. I know plenty of friends that get to walk the streets without having to worry about a thing other than if the food in their college lunch room is going to be cooked the way it should or if their going to be making it to school on time. Some of them may even wonder if their local Starbucks is going to be open early enough for them to get their favorite items from the menu before going to class that morning. To be perfectly honest, these are the friends I'm very jealous of. These are the friends that get to walk into almost any area of their town or my town and not have to worry that something 
Being someone who is openly bisexual and often dresses in mens clothing I'm often not given this same option. I walk around in strange areas and get stared at by both strangers in the area and by staff who work in the stores or libraries I enter since many of them automatically assume that I may be a danger to the people there in the building. Being someone that generally dresses in black as well (to hide the tattoos that are hiding under my clothing since that often makes many people more uncomfortable since tattoos are gang related so often in large cities) that is something else that scares so many into thinking I'm going to injure them. Gays are viewed as dangerous by many in society anyway and adding anything to your image, no matter how simple or common it is among other people, looks scary to most people.
Even at work, where I know almost all of the employees by name and many of the customers by their faces (and sometimes by their children if I played with them when I was younger) I still fear mentioning my sexuality to any of them other than the one other employee there who has brought up that she's a lesbian since she could feel that she wasn't going to be persecuted by me. One of the managers is also guessed to be gay though it was never mentioned by him to be directly. So many of us have the right to hide it since there are so many that are willing to openly bash the GLBT community solely for being themselves and being willing to admit to it. I know I personally would love to be open to everyone around me without having to be worried about loosing a job or have someone attack me for solely that reason.
Many people out there don't think of how often we're discriminated against. They don't have to think about being afraid of loosing their job because of what gender their interested in. Many of them get to be blissfully unaware of what we really do have to go through every day since many of us choose to hide it since many of the people that would like to call us our allies don't understand why some things may be upsetting to us when they might seem normal to a lot of other people or like their simple bullies to parents and friends. To those of us who have been truly tormented by so many that choose we know that kind of pain we should all be able to one day feel safe no matter what goes on around us.

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