I opened the door to my dorm room. I could hear someone banging on the other side of it for the past 10 minutes in an attempt to get in. considering I’d been sleeping before they appeared I’d been trying to ignore it. It seemed they knew I was here instead of in class like I should have been. Turns out my stupid roommate, who shouldn’t have made it into college at all, forgot his key again. It was an all too common problem these days. Generally I would put in a request for a new roommate but he has one big benefit: he was quiet. It was something I would need considering what I was planning.
For the past 6 months I’d slowly been planning my suicide. I’ve gone to 10 different doctors complaining of migraines and gotten the same medication for it, none of them realizing that I brought them a fake medical record that didn’t show that I was severely allergic to the main ingredient of the pills they were prescribing. Though I far from needed the 10 jars I’d gained for the migraines for the allergic reaction to kill me I wanted to be really safe about it.
I’d been hiding the pill bottles beneath my mattress. These mattresses were lumpy and messed up on their own so it was easy to hide them there without anyone noticing. I was also the only one of the two of us to have one of the school water bottles making my slow mixing of the pills in water to go unnoticed by him and undrinkable without him suffering from overdose. He wouldn’t have drank from it anyway, if anything he is a major hypochondriac and would never have touched it no matter what I did to make it sanitary. I swear the man would have died of dehydration if someone hadn’t invented bottled water. He wouldn’t even drink out of the same cup more than once.
After he grabbed 3 new bottles of water and left I grabbed my school bottle from the fridge. I pulled the last pill bottle from underneath the mattress and started mixing in the last few pills. Tonight would be the night that I finally was able to drink it and cause the death that I so gladly wanted. I wouldn’t be doing it here in our room of course. My roommate was the lightest sleeper I had ever seen and me so much as getting out of bed, no matter how little noise I made doing so, would wake up and ask me where I was going and how long I would be out. It would make a lot more sense to be out of here before he had the chance to ask questions. It would save me a lot of pain as well. This was the only college where there were not only medical students but a fully functional medical hospital as well. There would be no problems reviving me once he realized that I was in the throws of full blown overdose.
With the last of the pills mixed into the water I left the room to stake out a place to die peacefully where I would go undiscovered for a number of days. The rot of my flesh was the only thing that would give away the fact that my body was even there. Maybe even the eating of a few coyotes in the area though I’m sure the amount of drugs in my system could always kill them as well. The animals wasn’t something I was worried about, I’d killed my fair share of animals in the lab doing my own personal medical testing for papers. One of them I even killed by overdosing them with the exact same pills I would be using tonight in a test run. I already knew exactly what my death throws would look like thanks to that.
I’m sure everyone will be wondering my motives behind this, why I would want to kill myself despite the Gods and Goddesses choosing to give me the length of human life itself. The truth of the matter is I only believed that one God would care for me: Satan himself. He would make me one of his demons, demigods in their own right if not full blown gods considering their immortality. I needed that kind of reassurance. I wanted to be part of the legion that tortures the people that had tortured me my entire life despite the fact I had done nothing to them myself. They deserved their low position as much as I would need the one the almighty Satan will give to me once I’m in his kingdom.
After about 30 minutes I found a spot where I could possibly hide. One where I might not be found by the “jogger” that so many crime shows picked to discover the bodies of murder victims. I decided to sit there for a few hours to see if anyone would see me there. No one did. The time passed silently and without so much of an inkling going by that someone could be sitting there with plans of death in their mind. Once 10 pm hit and the campus had fallen asleep with the exception of the few insomniacs that had confined themselves to their dorms I decided it was time. I drank the bottle, managed to get it all down before anything set in. Within 10 minutes the drugs set in, they set my body into the death throws before I knew what was going on. I was dead before I had a chance to catch my breath. Unfortunately, everything I hoped for after death never came true.