Saturday, July 31, 2010

Gay rights








I AM




  • I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag every day.
  • I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
  • I am the guy that lives on the streets because I am scared to go home.
  • I am the prostitute working the streets because I can't find anybody who will hire a transsexual woman.
  • I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
  • We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
  • I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
  • I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
  • I am the Christian that can’t find a pastor to marry me to a woman in the eyes of God.
  • I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
  • I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
  • I am the child that dreams of seeing my mum again. The courts won’t let me because she lives with another woman.
  • I am the man who fears that I will never be able to be myself, to be free of this secret because I won’t risk loosing my family and friends.
  • We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
  • I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
  • I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
  • I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
  • I am the brother that gets called a fag just because my brother isn’t ashamed of who he is.
  • I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
  • I am the girl that was raped behind my school because some stranger wanted to teach me to be a “real woman”.
  • I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
  • I am the guy down the street that can’t get a disability pension because my partner is a man.
  • I am the woman who died when the paramedics stopped treating me because they found out I didn't have a female body.
  • I am the man that is afraid of losing his job, for expressing his true identity.
  • I am the mother that sees my son come home from school every day in tears because the other kids call him a girl.
  • I am the celebrity that wishes I could tell the would who I am, but I'm too scared.
  • I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
  • I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.
  • I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don’t believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
  • I am the Youth Worker that sees hundreds of kids thrown out of home because they were honest with their families.
  • I am the girl that struggles to get up in the morning because school is so cruel to me.
  • I am the footballer scared to come out because I might lose my contract.
  • I am the boy that always wanted a Barbie, but no one would let me have one.
  • I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most: love.
  • I am the woman that wants to join the army, but my family wont let me because I would look like a dyke.
  • I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends I’m a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.
  • I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to “teach me a lesson”.
  • I am the bisexual whose friends don't want her to go to a movie with them because there'll be a homophobe there, and they don't want him to get mad at them for inviting me.
  • I am the girl who can't hang out with girls because they assume that if I'm nice to them I have a crush on them.
  • I am the teenager who doesn't tell my mother the truth in fear she'll tell my homophobic father.
  • I am the bisexual who does not tell her parents for fear of being shunned for what I am.
  • I am the woman now 50 who vowed at 13 never to hide the fact I am bisexual
  • I am the woman who learned the true meaning of love and commitment from a couple together for more than 40 years I called them both Uncle
  • I am the man who lost his family, because my mother's devotion to her religion was stronger than her maternal love for her son.
  • I am a woman who lost her family, because they simply couldn't accept, that I am bisexual and I have as the same rights to be happy as everyone has.
  • We are all around you.
  • We are the millions that want the hate to end.
The truth in this list
            For many members in the GLBTQ community this is not only true but is frighteningly true. So much of this alone applies just to me, a bisexual woman who can’t tell her family because I know they would hate me just for being interested in both sexes because I don’t have an option of making a choice that doesn’t involve the sexuality I was born into. Like many others I don’t choose my sexuality, it fell into my lap and hasn’t changed since I discovered it at the age of 12. I don’t think I would change it or have it “cured” even if it was a choice, even if it could go away like so many homophobes think it can. Even with some of the people I do come out as bisexual to will laugh in my face thanks to all of the teenage girls right now that decide to say their bisexual to look cool instead of saying it because they really are (this also gains me a little crap also in the GLBTQ community because not even we know who to take seriously anymore).
            Truth is we all need to be a lot different than everyone around us. We all need to like something different and be something different than everyone else so we don’t all come out of the same cookie cutter mold that Abrahamic religions and much of society in the US thinks we should. We’re all different from each other and we all have different journeys while we were coming out of the closet. Some of us have excellent experiences coming out: we loose none of our friends, our families still love us and support us no matter what gender we choose to love (or what gender we feel we should be despite the fact our biology doesn’t agree), we can always talk to our families about things that are going on at school with other students.
Unfortunately some of us also have really bad experiences. Some of us go through what I did (and in a way still am as I continue pushing through life): our families are unsupportive and homophobic which causes us to loose our families (and possibly homes if we still live with them) when and if we choose to tell them, we loose the majority of our friends because they refuse to be seen with a GLBTQ person in public if at all, other students call out names like fag/faggot/tresbian. There seems to be no getting away from bad once it happens. People like Matthew Shepard and Lawrence King are beaten or killed because of their sexuality. These killings are never isolated, either. It’s happening all the time because someone doesn’t want to accept something about someone else no matter what it is: sexuality, race, gender, hair color, religion, ect. With all of the hate which continues to happen we all need to work on ending hate and joining together in the love every person deserves.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

More in the world of news

Immigration law in Arizona
            Many of us have heard about the new immigration law in Arizona that requires anyone who immigrates to the USA to prove their citizenship within the country. If they are caught by local police without their papers the state will deport them to their country of origin. The law isn’t exactly anything new other than the fact that a state is trying to enforce something that the federal government is already supposed to be doing. Anyone who immigrates to the US should already have their green cards with them at all times to prove they are indeed a legal resident of this country. This keeps them from being deported when police ask them to see it. The law is controversial in part because the Federal government doesn’t want to give up sole responsibility for immigration law and making sure that illegal immigration is controlled.
California Fire
            The newest fire in California is happening during a key time in tourism in the area. Most hotels are booked completely out and there is a steady flow of campers. At this point the fire isn’t contained and everyone in the area that is in harms way (as well as all of their pets, though large animals are being controlled by animal control) and there isn’t any death toll yet. Firefighters are working on containing the blaze and are working on protecting homes in the area that are yet to burn down. The cause of the fire is under investigation and it's suspected that there is a human cause behind it.
Wikileaks May Be Doing Damage
            Now that Wikileaks has decided to reveal a few thousand documents revealing the names of Afghan informants it could be a major threat to those whose names were revealed. Though fifteen thousand documents were held back because of the names held within them the people whose names are exposed could loose their lives because of what the website choose to reveal.
Jury Deliberations Begin
            Rod Blagojevich, the former governor of Illinois, has a number of charges against him including fraud and extortion. He became a bit more known on the political scene when there were rumors that he was attempting to sell the senate seat that had been occupied by Barack Obama before he won the presidential election. As more investigations came underway more had surfaced that he was committing illegal acts while he was the governor. His brother is also being charged with similar things since he was part of many of these scandals. The jury has now gone to deliberate on the ex-governors case.
Case Dropped Against New York Governor
            A young woman who was allegedly assaulted by David Patterson, the governor of New York, failed to show up to the court date. Her failure to appear made the case automatically dropped and the governor was declared innocent. Patterson allegedly threw the woman against a mirror and attempted to rip of the woman’s Halloween costume and later called her to threaten her. 

In the News


Sinking of a North Korean Ship
About 2 months ago a North Korean ship sank. There is some suspicion that a submarine exploded underneath the ship which caused a hull breech and that is what the official report in North Korea says. Considering the political election that is going on in the country right now it isn’t a surprise that this is thought to have something to do with anti-communism and that the ship was sank on purpose by someone in North Korea.
            Like many other major events in history there are conspiracy theories behind it which are being investigated. There are other options being looked at such as the boat running into a coral reef and damaging the hull. Many of the sailors on bored drowned and no deceased sea life was found in the area which makes people doubt the theory that a submarine had exploded beneath them despite reports of a submarine appearing on radar before the accident happened.


Obama
            As many people are starting to loose support in our president he seems to loose even more of his focus. With many Americans out of work he decides to work on a bill that requires large companies to show who is funding their activities. Why you may ask? To save the butts of politicians of course. Why would he bother trying to create new jobs when he could protect the cockroaches we like to call our politicians?

Over treatment of prostate cancer
            We all know that early detection and treatment of cancer is key to surviving it. Many people get yearly screenings for certain cancers. For many older men it tends to be their prostates that they tend to be the most worried about. Now doctors are starting to over treat for cancers that may not cause much harm to the man without having the entire prostate removed or receiving radiation or chemical therapy.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Cruelty Caused by Celebrity

Cruelty is becoming more and more
The norm as fewer people seem to
Want to be kind to the people around them,
Fewer seem to want to do something that
Would be against their own personal gains.

They all seem want to look for something
High profile and that will make them as rich
As the celebrities they read about in the magazines
And see on television.

They all want to be part of the newest scandal,
Be known for how much they could drink
Both before and after their rock shows.
They want to be known for getting away with
The bad behavior they know they have no chance of getting away
With in their current lives.

They all seem to want to always party and
Get short sentences that are shortened even further
By crowds of fans that seem to think that
They should get away with what they did
No matter what it may be.

Random Pick of Politics

Politics seem to be going down
The tube as fewer people seem
To understand what the politicians
Are actually saying about their own campaigns.

So many just believe what the tabloids have
To say while others don’t pay attention
To anything that’s been said at all,
They choose to go for whomever is
Their own race or whomever seems to be
The most popular candidate just so
They can claim they voted for the winner.

They don’t realize the popular and the best
Choice may be 2 different things and choosing
Politicians should take a lot more thought than
Most people are willing to put into it, more
So in the days when people would rather
Flip a coin to make their decisions.

Monday, July 26, 2010

The Loners

For years I’ve been looking for
The light at the end of the tunnel,
Looking for something to guide me
On my journey through what people
Would consider the good life when
They aren’t doing anything more
Than looking though a blank window.

They don’t know what really goes on
In the mind of someone who cant seem to
Keep anyone to call friend for long and
Doesn’t build connections the way they
Feel they should be able to.

They don’t realize that this connection with
Other human beings is something they often
Don’t want because they always seem to stab
Them in the back because they don’t want to
Have anyone that is different around them.

Often their loneliness is learned over the years
Since it is so often forced upon them at a young
Age and they never have a chance to learn
Anything different, they already know that they
Are a lot different from their peers though they often
Can’t find out why, this continues to be
Their prison, chosen or not.

Lack of Concern

I watch silently from the corner
As so many others continue on
Their day being as fake as they
Choose to be in an effort to hide
Who they really are from the people around them,
Try harder than they need to just to
Fit in with people who are doing
The exact same thing.

None of them seem to want to be
Who they really are despite the fact
That following the crowd always seems
To be the worst idea, an idea
That can sometimes be fatal if they
Don’t watch closely.

So many people are too concerned
With fitting in to noticed that anything
Around them is going wrong. They
Want to keep moving on as if nothing
Was off because they choose not to notice
And when they do they have a lack of concern.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

The Living Book



            Anyone familiar with any mainstream religions bible (Christianity, Judaism, Mormonism, Islam, ect) understand that the bible and their views on God and what is the right thing to do never changes, it never becomes any different than what it was or what it has always been. These books have been the same for centuries and people seem reluctant to question anything that is written in it once they claim to believe in what it says and what power the God within its pages says. It has created wars, started arguments, broken up families, and even condemned other religions because it wasn’t that religion. These books also often claim to be the only religion that is correct and to be followed is the religion within its pages. These are often claimed to be holy texts, often with the word bible, Koran, and many other different things on the title page. They are often the most stolen thing in book and grocery stores because of the value the pages are meant to contain despite the fact that what is contained in the book itself would condemn this type of behavior as a sin.
            Unlike these religions Paganism and Wicca doesn’t exactly have a single holy script or book that all relate to. It makes no difference to us what one coven or a single person has to say about what we believe and what we don’t, what we believe is fluid and can change as society changes and as we ourselves change. Our books of shadows are living books and change as we do. We add and subtract what we do and do not believe in that point in our life. We control what it says is a sin and what it claims will happen to us during the afterlife. We control every spell it will ever contain and can choose to remove those spells as we would remove a hangnail. We can get rid of ones that we no longer need and ones that we consider to not work.
            If you’re a solitary practice Pagan or Wiccan or in a coven the book of shadows you own a copy of should always change as you do. Never should you say what your coven believes in entirety is what you believe and never should you say what you believed was the God or Goddess is what you still believe later in your practice if that is not what you currently believe. Many of us change beliefs as we age or become more strict in what we choose to throw our faith into. We know what has been working for us and when we think it is failing to work. We choose what we believe is the best for us and what is truly our religious practice and what isn’t. Though many people give Paganism and Wicca a bad rap and place us in with Satanists and what many other non-pagan or cult groups that is far from true. We remain everyday people despite our beliefs and despite what television and movies choose to show about us they will often be wrong and we must always look for what is the truth about our religion and who the God and Goddess truly are to us.

We Were There Volume 1


Summary
            Nanami Takahashi just started high school. She’s been nervous about it for awhile and is struggling to make friends. Many of the people that go to her high school have had the same friends since middle school and alliances have been formed. She eventually hangs out with a group of girls that are already in the swing of their friendships and are very familiar with each other. All of these girls are very similar leaving Nanami to still be a bit of the odd one out. She even tries to make friends with the shyest and most anti-social girl in the class that no one else likes. To avoid not having any friends at all she sticks with these girls and even joins the student council hierarchy.
            Like many other girls in her class she develops a crush on Motoharu Yano. He’s always been popular with students and teachers and has been worry free for most of his life, not even worrying about grades. He often sleeps through class and does very well on tests despite this. Nanami really wants to get to know Yano despite him being a jerk to her in every way he can. As she gets to know him she discovers that he was dating the anti-social girls older sister, who died in a car accident the year before. She was Yano’s first love and she had cheated on him. The day she had died in the car accident he had discovered she was cheating on him and they had gotten into a fight. He blames himself for her death despite the fact there was nothing he could have done to prevent it.

Review
The art is usual for a manga, well done and enjoyable. 3.5 out of 5.

Gimmick! Volume 1


Summary
            Kohei is used to being a Hollywood makeup artist. He’s been doing it for a long time and was well known in Hollywood for his work on famous American movies before choosing to move back to Japan and trying to gain the same fame there. He mostly does small time jobs like small B level movies and redoing the haunted house in a horror based theme park. Though most of his work involve small amounts of makeup and the occasional dummy or (on slightly more rare occasions since they are becoming out of date) animatronics he still thrives on being able to do makeup on a living person.
            Several women he helps are famous in Japan and want assistance in achieving a goal. One woman would like to get away from her abusive manager and return to her loving boyfriend whom she had to loose touch with because of her career (or so her manager said). He disguises her as an old woman and sneaks her past her manager and to the elevator before he realizes he has been tricked. The actress manages to get to the airport and fly with her boyfriend to America.
The next woman is an actress in the beginning of her career. It had been awhile since she had last acted because she had been in a severe car accident when she was supposed to be on the movie set. Rumors had begun that she had a disfiguring scar which would cause her to loose what is a major role for her, involving her first nude scene. She wanted to look like a beauty in the movie but she couldn’t do it with the scar that now runs the length of her chest. She hires Kohei to make it appear as if the rumors of the scar were untrue. The makeup is so flawless that no one knows the difference between what is makeup and what is skin.
Review
Excellently written with great art. Readers be aware of small amounts of full nudity in the book. 4 out of 5.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Spell Checkers Volume 1


Length: 145 pages

Summary
            Three young witches are using spells to get through high school. These spells get them good grades, popularity, and anything else they want. If something doesn’t go their way they just simply use magic to fix it. When two of the three girls dolls, the source of their powers, go missing they begin loosing their powers. They all suspect someone has casted a curse against them and start looking for their dolls before they realize that this is the cause of the loss of their powers. The two girls that have missing dolls accuse the third girl of stealing them since it is her week to own their spell book and she hasn’t had any effect on her magic.
            When the only girl with her magic remaining gets rid of her parents for the weekend (with magic of course) so she can throw a huge party for her sixteenth birthday the other two girls decided to go through her room looking for their dolls. The dolls are quickly found since they were not well hidden to begin with. The third girl had claimed that she had not stolen the dolls and that she had no idea how they had gotten there. The other two dressed her as an emo and embarrassed her in front of the entire party only to discover a fourth girl was a witch and had hidden their dolls and set them against each other.

Review
Very well written and has great artwork. You feel like you’re in the same room as these three girls and like you could actually do the magic yourself if you possessed their spell book. 4 out of 5.

The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner by Stephanie Meyer



Length: 178 pages

Summary
            A young vampire is convinced by an older vampire that they need to create a small army to destroy the Cullen coven. They have been attempting to build a coven of young vampires (less than one year of age, when their blood from when they are human is still present in their system) for some time but haven’t had much luck. Every time they add new vampires to the group much of the group (both new and old) seem to kill each other off since they are all granted lighters and they all know that this will kill them. While they are building their coven of new vampires the Volturi come and speak with them in regards to their numbers of new vampires.
            The leaders of this coven are told they have five days to do something with their newborns or the entire coven will be eradicated. With only twenty two newborns their numbers are a lot lower than the heads of the coven would like them to be. Within four days the newborns are trained to fight and are taken to forks where the Cullens are living peacefully with the LaPush werewolf pack. The fighting results in the end of the coven with the exception of the two people that had started the entire coven. The bodies were burned in the field where the battle had occurred. Since the fire smells like jasmine incense its something that was unlikely to be noticed by the town of Forks.

Review
Of the Stephanie Meyer spin-offs of her popular series Twilight this one is the best. It goes more into depth of one of the fights shown into the book that was mostly ignored within the series. Rating: 4 out of 5.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Loss of Innocense

Not so long ago people
Used to avoid killing the
People around them no matter
How much they disliked the person

The few people that did kill
Had more respect for family
Than the people of today.

So many people now die
Because of any small thing
They have done or because
Of nothing they did.

Innocence is lost at a
Younger and younger age as
More think that killing is
A more acceptable way
Of solving a problem.

So few people learn to talk
Out a problem now that we seem
To be heading more towards
Anarchy than people are willing
To admit to themselves and
To the people around them.

The crime rates seem to be going
Out of control despite the amounts
They seem to be going down according
To the statistics the government seems
To be so willing to give us.

The innocence that we have lost
Can never be regained as the body
Bags are brought out of everywhere
And the spirits of the dead seem to want
To be avenged for what
Happened to them.

Sensitive Children

            I woke up and looked at the clock. I was up a half an hour before my alarm as usual. My insomnia seemed to be getting worse and worse instead of better. I’d tried every pill the doctor had prescribed without any luck. Even the strongest one didn’t seem to have any effect on me or my sleeping patterns. It bothered my mom how little I slept so after trying the pills for a few days before convincing my mom that they really weren’t working. She seemed disheveled that I didn’t sleep twelve hours a day like a “normal teenager”. I’d never let her know how far from normal I had always been.
            I’d been able to see and hear spirits since I was three. I used to tell my mom all about it but she claimed I was just seeing things or making things up since I was so little at the time. Eventually I figured out my mom would always consider me a liar and there was nothing I could do to convince her that her assumptions were false. I was open about it at school which didn’t earn me very many friends which probably worried her just as much. Most of my friends were just as sensitive as I was and we shared many of the same experience. We all started young with our abilities and they all endured with it.
            I rolled out of bed and walked to the kitchen. I spotted my older brother there staring at the refrigerator. He’d died in Iraq six months ago and was here sometimes. I think he stares at the refrigerator because he used to get orange juice out of it everyday before he left for the war. He never spoke when I asked questions so I didn’t have the option of finding out. Sometimes I wish he would speak so I could at least understand why he was still here, why he hadn’t moved on.
            When he noticed me watching him he slowly began to disappear. I wasn’t much surprised at this either. He had the wounds he died with in the war, most of his face was hanging off of his face and all of the skin seemed badly burned. His uniform was in tatters and made it easy to tell that he had died in an explosion. This was one of those times when I wondered where else he disappeared to during the day. I was sure home wasn’t the only place he had to visit. I know when I joined him in death that home wouldn’t be the only place I visited.
            I was worked out of my focus by our cat meowing. She wanted me to open her can of wet food since I was the earliest up. It was pretty well accepted here that I always fed her in the morning since my mother worked odd hours. Since her dry food was left in a feeder everyday it wasn’t hard to neglect doing it for a few days and have her not starve, no matter what she liked to think. I grabbed a glass of orange juice and walked into the living room.
            Turning on the news I didn’t expect to see anything surprising, at least not by my standards. More crime as usual. The churches in the area were still being burned down by some gang the cops hadn’t caught yet. More school shootings were happening in various states and were causing our home schooling rates to have a steady rise lately. Even online schooling was starting to go up some. The fire in the nearby mountains hadn’t been put out yet and they were considering evacuating all of the nearby homes to prevent the human death count from rising past zero. As it was the forest service lost nearly a million dollars worth the campgrounds and buildings.
In a way I wasn’t surprised that the forest service was loosing all of these buildings since they spent all of last years profits building and renovating all of the buildings currently on the property. That couldn’t have been good karma considering I have a feeling mother nature doesn’t like having what’s left it taken over by urban sprawl so the white collar cowboy could experience the woods in a “modern and clean” way. Why anyone thought it was camping to sleep on a concrete slab and being able to shower every day was camping I would never know. It was so much better to be away from it all in the middle of nowhere and camping for real, even if it meant smelling like a rotting skunk when I came home.
Engrossed in the news the backdoor spontaneously opened. I barely glanced behind me and noticed it was my friend Justin. He knew we hid the spare key in the front pocket of our gnomes felt pants and pretty much came and left whenever he felt like it; we could never get rid of him anyway. The only time he ever left was when he decided he needed to sleep which was about as much me these days. After he decided to stopped smoking marijuana is system switched into insomnia. He didn’t seemed to mind it much since it meant he got to spend more time with me. Considering he was like a brother to me and a son to my mom. I’m sure if his parents would let him move out this is the first place he would come. It was less haunted here and he had a chance to relax without seeing the dead.
Justin walked into the kitchen and came back with a glass of orange juice and plopped down on the couch. With the exception of the all black clothing and the excessive eyeliner he looked like he was meant to be one with the couch. He wasn’t the biggest fan of the morning news but I liked to watch it so I felt a little more connected to the world. Not to mention most of the stuff that wound up on the morning news ended up happening here on a smaller scale, not that anyone ever noticed. Whenever something happened in a small town no one seemed to ever seemed to care what small town news was unless they lived here.
“Any plans for today other than the morning news Cindy?”
“Knowing you our plans today somehow involve a funeral and doing something the sheriff will give us a long lecture for before letting us go home.”
“Considering the sheriff is my older brother I think I have the right to give him as much trouble as possible as long as I don’t do anything majorly illegal.”
“Knowing your brother he’d find a way for you to get away with murder. Both of your parents were druggies when he was growing up, I’m sure he wants you to have some sort of better life than he had.”
“For me a better life would involve getting away from a small town where an unknown street gang thinks its okay to burn down churches and kill the few monks that had lived in them.”
“You hate the churches and everything they represent. You’ve admitted to wanting to burn them down on a couple of occasions.”
“Just because I want to burn them down doesn’t mean I want the monks to die. They may be crusty old things who have never seen a vagina in their life but they still have the right to not being slaughtered like pigs. It just isn’t fair no matter who you are and what you’ve done with your life. It makes me wish we still had the mafia that only went after the people that owed them money.”
“Unfortunately the days of the mafia have ended. Now the world of organized crime has been given over to a bunch of teenagers that can’t even shoot a gun in a straight line none the less hit the broad side of a barn.”
We both laughed. Unfortunately we knew the areas gangs weren’t much to laugh at. We’d lost a friend to one because the gang member he had been shot by could shoot the gun in a straight line. He also knew how to aim it at a target and had managed to make our friends death quick and painless at least. The one other gang member I had met wouldn’t have been that kind to any of his victims. He was one of the ones that liked to play with the person for awhile, make sure that they suffered before they died as a lesson to any of the other people that crossed his path. Neither of us was sure how this proved anything to anyone considering the victim was always dead in the end and, more often than not, couldn’t tell their story.
We both sat there quietly for awhile. It wasn’t long before Justin decided he was to restless and downed both his and my glasses of orange juice and grabbed my house keys. I followed him out and watched him lock the door and start to walk away.
“Did you put the key back in the gnomes pocket?”
“Does anyone but me use that key or even know where it is?”
“I doubt it but with the way you are with keys I know it won’t get lost if it stays with the gnome.”
He took the gnomes key back in the pocket it belonged in before continuing off of the back porch. I followed him as quickly as I could but it was always hard for me to keep up with him. My dwarfism stunted my growth so badly I never got past three feet five inches. Justin, who from what I could tell was completely normal, made it to six feet two inches. When he finally noticed I was struggling to keep up he waited for a bit and them picked me up. Generally I wouldn’t mind walking there and meeting people wherever we were going but this morning I wasn’t told.
After about five minutes of walking we came into the graveyard. My brother had been buried here since my mother hadn’t wanted to opt for the free burial at the military cemetery one hundred miles away. I couldn’t say I had blamed here there, I wanted to be able to leave flowers here from time to time as much as she did. Justin found my brothers grave with ease, as if he’d come here multiple times before. As far as I knew I had never admitted that my brother had been buried here. Justin must have been asking questions of the rest of the town to figure out where he had been buried after we had become friends. We sat there enjoying the sunset and watching the dead watch us, enjoying the good friendship we both enjoyed as sensitive children.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Loosing the Earth

So many people ignore those
Who have more interest in what
Is around them than the needs they
Have for themselves.

So many people don’t realize
That the planet is dieing around them
And that something needs to
Be done about it before it’s gone.

The earth is giving us all
Of the signs it can that it is dieing
But so many of them go
Unnoticed because so many
Figure there must be another planet
Out there for us and for our pets.

The possibility that our earth is the
Only one, that there is nothing
Else that we can find is something few
Are willing to accept despite all
Of the evidence that it may be the
Only one that can hold any life
Without unnatural changes.

With luck we can save our
Planet, make it so she lives and supports
Us for many more years and we don’t
Have to worry about loosing our
Lives until we finally loose our sun.

Expecting too much

Everyone looked at a single man
To change their country and to
Change their lives as they
Choose to accept them.

So much is placed on one
Man while few choose to
Accept there is nothing this man
Could do to change an entire
Country of people who often
Don’t want to be the change
They want to see in the world.

They all look at someone who doesn’t
Know how to convince this
Entire country to change as well
As all of its politicians
To do more than any 1 man could possibly
Do for them.

Ignoring the Issues

The young often see more
In something than the old
Are willing to admit to themselves
Or to anyone else their own age.

They don’t want them to possibly
Know more than they do
Because of their young age.

They don’t like the thought that
Someone they would consider young
Could possibly know anything about
Life despite everything they’re
Forced to see with their lives.

All that they see are things adults
Would pass off as part of growing
Up instead of seeing them as the serious
Issue they can be and are
To so many young people, how
They could possibly cause the
Ending of a young life.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

The Black Mass

            The 20th year had just begun. Every senior demon knew what this meant: tonight at midnight would be the beginning of the true black mass, the one hosted by Satan himself instead of the ones held by the infamous Satanists that so many of the humans were often so afraid of. It was a required ceremony for every demon to attend in order to keep their so called lives under Satan’s tight role. It was new to none of us. We could all transport to the location without much thought had any of us known it beforehand. Satan often just transported us all there himself; he did it with even less thought than we did and it gave none of us a reason to forget or pretend to forget. The last time he let us do it ourselves 99% of us didn’t even bother show. It isn’t like I would blame any of us, we loved our king like the angels loved God, his speeches were just dry to most.
            I glanced at my watch (keeping perfect time with Hell itself, as always) and noticed that midnight was almost here. Being in a public place I stepped into a dark alley so my sudden out of nowhere disappearance wouldn’t be noticed by the spectators. Newer demons (usually a new one came a year, after his speeches) wouldn’t know that they were called like that and would scare the humans when they were physically there and suddenly gone. I’d scared a few of the homeless in my time but they weren’t ones that many believed. In many cases they didn’t believe even themselves since it had often been years since they last had any valid contact with any other humans. I know I wouldn’t believe myself if I didn’t have a drink or two with a demon or two every once in awhile. I far from blinded myself when it came to my disappearances. Being in one place and ending up somewhere else scared me some, too. Sometimes it was necessary to fill my “freak out the religious” quota, not to mention demons were often summoned by various occult followers.
            Midnight hit and I appeared in the church for the ceremony. Another fancy Catholic church with very gothic architecture. Judging by a small amount of the granite molding beginning to crumble I would say that it was from the time period, not something build later. The pews still looked well used and there were bibles in them that looked like they appeared to just have been bought. I’m unsure how he had desanctified what appeared to be holy ground to the human eye but he always seemed to be able to do it somehow. I felt bad for any humans who came here to avoid our persecution since we could now step within the church. Many of them relied on places like this to keep themselves safe from us. It would take one of the oldest demons, willing to kill without putting much thought into it, for the priest or monks to realize that they had lost this precious commodity that they promised to offer their followers. The graveyard around back was still sanctified, however. I could still see the glow of light emanating from it. Though it wasn’t as strong as that in a church it would still be too painful for a demon to step onto it. Most people didn’t think of a graveyard as a saving grace, though.
            I sat in a pew in the back. I had a book hidden in my jacket that I could read while ignoring his greatness. It was considered rude to ignore him while he was speaking but he just updated us on the past 20 years in Hell, usually it was the usual torture countless believers, new litters of Hell hounds being born, some human Satanists rising to the occasion to train said litters and run their own packs of dogs. Something that many of us were used to hearing. None of it the most interesting thing ever. We heard the obituaries in our thoughts (very rare considering most of us knew that only disobeying Satan’s order for your quota was the only way to die but eternal life wasn’t for all of us) immediately on the demon’s death. Five minutes after all of the current demons seemed to have filed into the church and took seats Satan himself came in.
            The first hour was his usual announcements. I read the book I had brought leaving my ears open for the rare question that would pop up. This time there was only one, if Hell had indeed been very prosperous with its soul gathering this year. Seemed like it considering 3,000,000 souls entered hell this year that no god or goddess seemed to want to claim. Usually less than 1,000,000 souls were claimed. Many wanted good followers to continue to be so. A new announcement caught my attention: Satan was dieing, he would be announcing his replacement for almost immediate replacement tonight.
            I marked my spot in my book and placed it back in my pocket. This was an announcement I wanted to hear. I had a feeling it would be going to one of the oldest demons but it was always nice to hear the original name of the one taking over. He seemed to hesitate for a moment, as if going through names in is head like he hadn’t already drummed up the perfect person in his head long beforehand. He was a stickler for good planning and his predecessor would likely be the same way. Ammit and myself were the only 2 demons I could think of that bothered plan anything out. Most demons were trigger happy with what they did. When I heard the name Qenna called I started to pull my book back out before realizing it was my own name that had been called. I stood and walked to the podium.
            He explained that robes would be fitted for me and it would take a week for my new horns and tail to grow in to the degree that a Satan figure needed. It would also take his death in 2 weeks time for powers to transfer to me. This was only a short period in many of our lives (I personally am already 110,893 years old) and it was an honor to be picked. It might mean a little less traveling depending on the need for me in Hell but it also meant no more quotas and a long term home, saying nothing in the form of a demon disease forms (though they do occasionally happen, this Satan had ruled for 600,000,000 years before contracting one and none are contagious). I was ready to take on the position for as long as I could have it.

Death has no bounds

Looking to the future is something
So many do so they don’t have to
Think about the death that is
Inevitable for them no matter what
They try to do to put it off.

It seems to come whenever it feels like
No matter the age of the person,
No matter what they do to keep healthy
And to make sure their quality of
Life stays as high as they can possibility
Be without being unhealthy.

Death never knows any bounds or
Has any restrictions on where it decides
To go and what it does to the lives of
The people it interrupts.

Death has no plans and nothing that it
Wants to do despite what people would
Like to think, no matter how much they
Would like to think death would never
Come after the young.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Within a Pack

            I unlocked the front door to the compound. I’d been living with the same pack for about six months now. It was a really large pack by our standards but I’d enjoyed the lifestyle that came with this size of pack. I’d grown up in a small pack, one where people were jealous of whoever had a better lover than themselves and one only had a single lover at any single time. I was more annoyed by the single lover standard than anything else. I always looked for sex for fun instead of sex for mating purposes. With the smaller packs (usually 10 people) there was only a new birth or two every few years as two couples were chosen to have the next child. I left my pack and the man chosen to be my lover in an effort to find a pack that would free me from those social norms. I found that in my current pack, the numbers here ranged from three hundred members to four hundred members. It seemed to fluctuate every day as people changed packs while others started small packs of their own.
            I moved on to my room on the third floor of the building. We kept no locks on the room doors. Unlike with humans we had no thieves among our kind. We only had to worry about humans breaking into the compound and stealing anything that they thought might be valuable to other weres. In the twenty years the compound had been standing a break in hasn’t happened. It made me feel confidant to live in this place, like I didn’t have to worry about everything that I chose to leave here during the day as I went about my mundane day in a human candy shop. Luckily enough for me it was only a part time job and I only kept it when I felt like splurging on my bondage gear.
            I opened my room to find it empty. Considering the long string of lovers I’d had over the past few months this was slightly unusual. I guess many of them had gotten a bit bored or had moved on to other lovers. It didn’t seem like as many of us had bondage fetishes had happened for as long as I had thought. So far I was the only one who had kept it for more than a few weeks. I opened my closet door to find a body in my closet. It was badly mangled and had been clearly murdered. I walked over to my desk and pressed the silent alarm that would notify the alphas that there was a problem in my room. Instead of putting my coat in the closet I tossed it across the bed. The last thing I wanted to do was mix more of my scent with the body than was needed. Knowing how the alphas investigated things they would want to get a good scent of the body and any scents that clearly didn’t match it or of anything we used on the compound. It would bring to light the murderer, of whom I expected was on the compound.
            The alphas arrived quickly. They saw the problem instantly and saw no need to ask me any questions about it. That was something I was happy with, I didn’t want to talk anymore than I already had today. There was nothing I could really add to this, anyway. It was by complete accident that I even discovered the body in the first place, there was nothing I could add. Judging by the fact that there was no rot to the body yet it may have been tomorrow morning before I discovered it there had I not decided to use my closet. As they were sniffing the body I realized how the dead were would have a relation to me: we had been having sex the night before. It seems odd that he would end up in my closet of all places. I knew he had a regular lover, I saw the two of them together almost every day since I started here. I couldn’t help but wonder if she could have done it.
            The alphas ran out of the room at a speed that I hadn’t seen in a long time. I decided to head down to the meeting room now. I figured they’d be down there to make the announcement soon anyway. The killer was most likely within the pack and they would call it to announce his or her name soon anyway. I wanted a good seat so I could clearly see the face of the person that had decided to leave a dead body in my closet. Though it was just an awkward coincidence that I’d had sex with him I would love to see what the real motivation for leaving him there was. Surely it couldn’t solely be for that reason considering everyone here had sex with anyone at any time.
            Upon entering the meeting room two senior weres were already setting up the ritual fire. They must have been warned that we were all going to be called here soon by one of the alphas assistants. I picked a seat close to the front so I could easily see the face of the person. Being relatively short (I stand at only 4’2”) it was impossible for me to see when sitting anywhere else in the room. I was the shortest person here, the next closest person to my height would be 6’6” and that was a stretch for me.

Death of a College Student

            I opened the door to my dorm room. I could hear someone banging on the other side of it for the past 10 minutes in an attempt to get in. considering I’d been sleeping before they appeared I’d been trying to ignore it. It seemed they knew I was here instead of in class like I should have been. Turns out my stupid roommate, who shouldn’t have made it into college at all, forgot his key again. It was an all too common problem these days. Generally I would put in a request for a new roommate but he has one big benefit: he was quiet. It was something I would need considering what I was planning.
            For the past 6 months I’d slowly been planning my suicide. I’ve gone to 10 different doctors complaining of migraines and gotten the same medication for it, none of them realizing that I brought them a fake medical record that didn’t show that I was severely allergic to the main ingredient of the pills they were prescribing. Though I far from needed the 10 jars I’d gained for the migraines for the allergic reaction to kill me I wanted to be really safe about it.
            I’d been hiding the pill bottles beneath my mattress. These mattresses were lumpy and messed up on their own so it was easy to hide them there without anyone noticing. I was also the only one of the two of us to have one of the school water bottles making my slow mixing of the pills in water to go unnoticed by him and undrinkable without him suffering from overdose. He wouldn’t have drank from it anyway, if anything he is a major hypochondriac and would never have touched it no matter what I did to make it sanitary. I swear the man would have died of dehydration if someone hadn’t invented bottled water. He wouldn’t even drink out of the same cup more than once.
            After he grabbed 3 new bottles of water and left I grabbed my school bottle from the fridge. I pulled the last pill bottle from underneath the mattress and started mixing in the last few pills. Tonight would be the night that I finally was able to drink it and cause the death that I so gladly wanted. I wouldn’t be doing it here in our room of course. My roommate was the lightest sleeper I had ever seen and me so much as getting out of bed, no matter how little noise I made doing so, would wake up and ask me where I was going and how long I would be out. It would make a lot more sense to be out of here before he had the chance to ask questions. It would save me a lot of pain as well. This was the only college where there were not only medical students but a fully functional medical hospital as well. There would be no problems reviving me once he realized that I was in the throws of full blown overdose.
            With the last of the pills mixed into the water I left the room to stake out a place to die peacefully where I would go undiscovered for a number of days. The rot of my flesh was the only thing that would give away the fact that my body was even there. Maybe even the eating of a few coyotes in the area though I’m sure the amount of drugs in my system could always kill them as well. The animals wasn’t something I was worried about, I’d killed my fair share of animals in the lab doing my own personal medical testing for papers. One of them I even killed by overdosing them with the exact same pills I would be using tonight in a test run. I already knew exactly what my death throws would look like thanks to that.
            I’m sure everyone will be wondering my motives behind this, why I would want to kill myself despite the Gods and Goddesses choosing to give me the length of human life itself. The truth of the matter is I only believed that one God would care for me: Satan himself. He would make me one of his demons, demigods in their own right if not full blown gods considering their immortality. I needed that kind of reassurance. I wanted to be part of the legion that tortures the people that had tortured me my entire life despite the fact I had done nothing to them myself. They deserved their low position as much as I would need the one the almighty Satan will give to me once I’m in his kingdom.
            After about 30 minutes I found a spot where I could possibly hide. One where I might not be found by the “jogger” that so many crime shows picked to discover the bodies of murder victims. I decided to sit there for a few hours to see if anyone would see me there. No one did. The time passed silently and without so much of an inkling going by that someone could be sitting there with plans of death in their mind. Once 10 pm hit and the campus had fallen asleep with the exception of the few insomniacs that had confined themselves to their dorms I decided it was time. I drank the bottle, managed to get it all down before anything set in. Within 10 minutes the drugs set in, they set my body into the death throws before I knew what was going on. I was dead before I had a chance to catch my breath. Unfortunately, everything I hoped for after death never came true.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Conversion

            It used to be I went to church every Sunday. Often on a couple of days during the regular week, too. It was something that was so incredibly common in my Christian family where we followed the only right religion. It was something that was so well bread into my family that none of us had broken from it for generations. If we had it was back in the days when it was still legal to stone your children for disobeying you. Sometimes even legal to stone those in a very Christian town where even the smallest thing you did against Him was worth stoning you over.
            I was broken of this belief about two years ago. I had been mentally and physically abused by a boyfriend of mine. I was raped by many of his friends who paid him for my services. I was completely broken from that. Even now I couldn’t stand the thought of ever dating again because of what he had done and what he had let his friends do. I suffered badly during that year we were together in ways the general population could understand. The people that could come close would be those who had seen war and not even they came close to feeling the same pain that I did and still do. Even the small amount of therapy I had done in groups hadn’t helped me. For me, that was the same thing as mental death.
            My Christianity had done nothing to heal my mind, in my mind the fact that a single all knowing God had done something that had almost killed me in an attempt to test my faith in Him was impossible for my mind to bear. I only held the name of that religion because it was what my family had followed for so long. We even owned slaves at one point because of one of our very own biblical stories. That bible had dictated everything I had done for so long, had controlled everything that happened to me up to that point in my mind.
            During one of my support groups I had met a girl who had claimed to be Pagan and seemed to be as serious with her religion as I had been before then. I learned everything I could from her and often snuck books home from the library to keep my family from finding them. I needed their support in a way while I was exploring a possible new religion for myself that they wouldn’t approve of. I learned more than I could ever possibly imagine about a single religion. What surprised me the most was the fact that Gods and Goddesses where whatever I wanted them to be. I could believe they where the air molecules I was breathing, they could be the animals around me, they could be the trees, they could even be the many deities I heard in my history and literature classes. They where honestly whatever I wanted them to be.
            I decided to meditate and follow it with as much fervor as I could. I found what I felt was the best thing for me and followed it as strongly as I could. I understood every aspect of my worship and could dictate it for myself; I needed no good book dictating what I needed to do. I didn’t need a church full of people telling me what was the absolute truth that I needed to be listening to. I still continue to go to church now. My family still supports me since I still do have to rely on them to financially support me until my eighteenth birthday passed six months from today. Then I will come out of the “broom closet” and show them what true faith in religion could truly do for a person.

The One Minute Assassin by Troy Cook


Length: 287 pages


Summary

            Politics are heating up in California for another election year. The position of governor has come up again with a crazy mix of people deciding to run. The top contenders are a lobbyist for a large pharmaceutical company, a rapper with a large gang history who is willing to claim the slightest remark racist, and a woman that comes from a political family as powerful and as well known as the Kennedy’s. As the polls change the lobbyist realizes that he has to do something to help himself win the election and it doesn’t involve taking bribes.
            He elicits the help of the Russian Mafia, who also run the pharmaceutical company, to hire assassins to kill off the other candidates so he will be the only one with any real chance at winning the election. Unfortunately, the assassins the mafia hires are 3rd rate and can rarely get any of the killings correct. When they put Eleanor Black, the runner up from the political family, into a coma he goes farther back in the running than he was before. Her younger brother, John Black, takes her place using an old law and his anti-political statements make him popular in the crowds and keeping him ahead of the killer.

Review

            Troy Cook writes a thriller that keeps you interested from page 2. The characters are well done and are shown to have very different personalities. Also, if you think politicians are blood sucking leeches that don’t do anyone any good, John Black will be your favorite character.
My rating: 5 out of 5.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Backpacking Gone Wrong



The girls story
            It was midnight on the solstice and I was still in the middle of the national park. I’d been backpacking through this all day, before the sun even had a chance to rise. I’d been off schedule for the last two days and was attempting to get myself caught up before stopping for the night. I’d left my cell phone on for the first few days of the trip causing battery to die, making it impossible for me to alert anyone that I would need an extra few days before I got picked up. I came up on one of the signs showing the trails in the park. I turned on my flashlight and checked my position. I was about a half mile from where I was supposed to be for today. I turned the flashlight back off and kept moving.
            I had good enough night vision that I didn’t need the flashlight. In fact, it was more likely to attract something dangerous to me if I used the flashlight. That would be the last thing I needed to happen. In the week I had been there I had seen someone who could actually help me get medical attention one time and that was on the day I checked in with the forest service and gave them the route I planned on taking the entire two weeks I would be here. It is only when I don’t check out with them on time that they will look for me, or any of my family for that matter. My family was never really in touch with me or anything I had planned on doing. Not since I turned to paganism at least. They were the very strict Christians who didn’t want anything to do with their heathen daughter and her sinning ways, something they stilled believed I cared about.
            I’d never been their perfect daughter. That was always my older sister, miss perfect straight A student. She went to bible classes every chance she got and the pastors loved her. If they needed someone to preach in place of one of their pastors she was always asked to do it. All of the teachers loved her and she never skipped a class or even missed with a cold. She could have the flu and still go. There was also no drinking, no smoking, and no drugs. I was caught stealing a beer from the refrigerator once (I usually got my older half brother to buy it for me since he only pretended to be an angel) and all of the sudden I was demon child. While I had my demon child status I decided to reveal everything I knew my parents would hate.
            I finally got to the point where I could stop for the night and feel back on track. I pushed the button on my watch to see it was ten after midnight. I started setting up camp so I could settle into bed for the night. It didn’t take me long since all I carried for camping equipment was a sleeping bag. I never liked carrying a tent; they smashed down too much of the grass in the area. I always liked being able to leave nothing more than a small imprint on the grass as evidence that I was ever there. As far as anyone was concerned I may as well have been a small bear that recently left its mother. It’s the way that I’d always liked it and the way it would continue to be until I found an even better way to stay warm and make even less of an impact on the environment around me. A fur blanket wouldn’t be an option like in the old days since it involved in the slaughter and harm of a poor, innocent animal. Something I would always be strongly against.
            After I had my sleeping bag placed exactly where I wanted it and placing my backpack securely in a tree I decided to do a little stargazing. I knew my internal clock would wake me up at sunrise if I wanted to be or not so it isn’t like I had any options. Plus I wanted to be able to say I got a little stargazing in while I was out and about. It wasn’t something that I could do all that often since most days I didn’t even stay up late enough to be able to see any stars. Within five minutes I fell asleep.
The next morning
            A family of five was driving one of the many trails looking for a good place to eat a picnic lunch they had packed. They thought they saw an injured camper on the side of the road so they had decided to pull over. The father was the only one to get out of the car and check on the camper. He was amazed at what he had found: a dead woman. She didn’t appear to be any older than eighteen and didn’t look like she owned anything that could have possibly been used to defend herself. He rushed back to the car and called the park service as soon as he could. He hoped they would get here before anyone else could damage the scene.
The park rangers report
            A young woman was found dead at one of the most popular resting spots. No tent was found in her bag which was hanging in a nearby tree. She had been attacked by a pack of coyotes in the middle of the night and didn’t appear to make any moves to defend herself. Too many injuries to make any definitive conclusions. A dead cell phone was found and charged, anyone who appeared to be family was contacted and viewed the body was claimed by the brother.
Obituary
            Nadia Sanchez was found dead in the middle of her two week backpacking trip. She was my youngest sister and so far the most loved member of my family. She had been perfectly honest on all of her beliefs no matter how much others disliked them and didn’t want her to share them with them. Her pagan beliefs were stronger than anyone’s I had ever seen and weren’t something she would have ever relinquished. As far as her love for nature went she was even more in love with it than the Grizzly Man. If she could have lived her life without ever coming home she gladly would have. She was the best person anyone could have ever known. She will be dearly missed.