Monday, December 6, 2010

Coming Winter

Winter slowly begins to settle in and

Begins to drive people within their homes,

They all begin to hide from the cold temperatures

That have begun to set into a state that

Goes dormant every winter with the coming

Of the snowflakes.


With the coming of every snow there will be

A new body that comes from one of the

Homeless that have no place or way to stay warm.

It's another toe tag used by the coroner

Who sees death as part of their job every day.


So many are worried about what will happen

With the coming winter that few worry about

How the people that have nothing are going to

Make it through the winter or how they are going

To make it through the winter or even through

The next day since so few are willing to offer

Them money for food or to an organization that

Will be able to give them food or clothing.


With how much money goes through the hands

Of the people in society it seems so few goes

To the rejects of society or to the people who

Still have a chance to improve their lives with the

Right amount of help. So few are looking to help

Improve the lives of their fellow man no matter

What it means to the people they do really help.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

The Other Woman

            I started my usual stretches to prepare for my morning jog. I've been doing this every day for a few months now since I wanted to get in better shape. 2 weeks ago I wanted to start getting into better shape and since I knew a lot of people in my apartment building went jogging early in the morning I figured I'd just be one more in the pack. Not to mention we all went out together to make sure none of us got raped or kidnapped while we were out. In my small town both of these crimes were common since so many strangers came and went without a lot of people noticing. It was just something that was easy for people to do since so many people could easily move in and out because of the ski areas without having their faces remembered. It's why no one discovered who had ever taken my daughter a few months ago until her body was found a few thousand miles away in Los Angeles. The case had gone cold on some police officers desk by now I was sure. They get so many cases out there that investigating the death of a little girl from some little hick town they had never heard of wasn't considered a priority. All I got was her body back in a box when their medical examiners office decided they were done looking at it.

            I made sure to call her father informing him that she was dead and what date I had planned the funeral for. Naturally he decided not to come to his youngest daughter's funeral. It wasn't something that I wasn't entirely surprised about it since he was a married man and had 3 other children via his wife to worry about. For about 4 years I had been the other woman and was only there for him to have sex with and that he could use as arm candy when his wife was too sick to attend a function. I was consistently introduced as his sister but I was happy to be there instead of his wife even though I would never be known as his girlfriend or even his mistress. It was when I told him I was pregnant with his child and wanted him to leave his wife to be with me that the relationship finally ended. He claimed I was only there for the sex and he had never wanted a mistress for anything else even if she happened to fall in love with him. When I asked if our daughter would have her real father in her life he laughed and hung up the phone.

            For the 5 years that my daughter was alive she was with just me. There were a few new men that popped up here and there but many of them didn't want the baggage of a woman with a child. More so when that woman revealed that the child was the result of an adulterous relationship and that she would never know who her real father was. I couldn't say I entirely blamed them. Since his name had never been on her birth certificate I had sole custody over her and the only way there would end up being another name with custody over her is if another man agreed to adopt her. My friends had husbands nice enough to do that for another mans child but they also had their children through legitimate relationships and their husbands had died some cruel death somewhere far away from their children. Either that or they were killed in jail. One way or another there was something better than being someone's mistress.

Even now once they figure out how my daughter got here more men leave than stay. So many people see being a mistress leave the woman thinking that they would one day cheat on them with a married man no matter how much they claimed to have been reformed and were looking for single men. I couldn't say I blamed them entirely for leaving me once they found out. Considering I still liked the idea of being a married mans secret woman and the fact that I would leave any man I was with to be with one at the drop of the hat I would leave me, too. It wasn't something that would ever leave me now that I had gotten a taste of what it was like and became so used to being the other woman in someone's life. Not just any other woman either, the other woman that would leave such an intense skeleton in their closet that no one would ever know about my existence or who I was. It had its own version of a mystery novel though it was reasonably less accepted by society.

I finished my stretches and ended my train of thought so I could go on my jog. I knew I couldn't keep thinking and be able to run in a straight line while also keeping up with the group from my apartment. I'd tried that already and it hadn't worked very well and I ended up getting questioned by the police to why I was running around early in the morning in what was considered the bad part of town. There had been a robbery in the area and since I hadn't been with the jogging group I was automatically expected to have committed it. Luckily enough for me their crime scene investigation crew found that there were a few fingerprints that didn't belong to the apartment and also didn't belong to me. As I was leaving the station one of them remembered me from when I reported my daughter missing (he may have even been the one I had spoken to, I was so panicked that night that I honestly didn't remember) and said he was sorry for my loss. I had thanked him as I left.

I met the rest of the group in the lobby and we all did a little talking before we started our route. None of us really spoke all that much and we honestly knew little about our lives. In fact I couldn't say one thing about anyone in the group other than a few names, the fact that we all went jogging in the mornings, and that we all lived in the same building. It wasn't something any of us seemed to want to share despite the fact we were all neighbors. I guess it was just something that happened in the day and age that our neighbors were strangers and that our friends would stab us in the back the second they got a chance. I'd seen that all too often just in my group of friends alone. Someone was always telling someone else that their partner was cheating and had pictures of their infidelity. Luckily enough for me I knew the only man I ever cared for was not only cheating but married. I also knew that whenever I could I would always remain the other woman.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Commercialized Religion

So many look to things to fulfill

Their religious needs instead of

Looking into their souls and looking

To their diety to fill their spiritual needs

And bring them what they look for

In the afterlife and in their current life.


They don't want to grab hold of

Their religion and make it theirs again.

They want to find a way to

Commercialize it like so many companies

In this day and age have already

Done to what was a great spiritual holiday.


More and more people are loosing

Touch with their roots as more and more

Days turn to stores to send them goods

They don't need in their daily lives

Or in their religious practices.


They see a book they feel they need,

A knife that they could have already found

In their own kitchen and given a new

Use instead of letting it rust in a drawer

Where it would have remained completely

Unseen by the world.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Run Away Pagan

I began wandering around Maui looking for the marble statues that were scattered across the island. They have been here forever and were part of why I decided to move to the island. Sure, there were places with statues scattered around the city in a lot of areas but not like here. They were magnificent statues and were ones that I wouldn't want to miss them for awhile. I wouldn't want to live anywhere else. I also loved the beauty of the nature here. I couldn't help it, many of us pagans were attracted to the nature of a place. This was the most beautiful scenery I could ever imagine finding. Not to mention with how many people were always travelling here and wanted to be able to easily eat out while there here I would never run out of work. Right now I usually just made prayer beads and made them for sale during the day. I made good money doing it and being an insomniac I could manage to make a few hundred a night and I made even more while I was working. Some days I sold more than others but there were times that more tourists were flying out than flying in.
Most of the shops were okay with me being near there stores to sell my beads. On occasions it drew new business that they weren't used to seeing. Often tourists were looking forward to going into the business I was in front of to see what else they had to offer though I never had anything to do with them. I never minded attracting customers for them since it allowed me to stay there.
Tonight it was all dedicated to finding the statues as they passed. Many of them were pretty easy to find considering they were white against a black landscape. Many of them were religious in nature though a lot of the people that came to the island didn't know the difference. Many of them were Christians that were just here for a great vacation on a Hawaiian island that they'd never been to before. They got what they wanted every time considering how much the island had to offer. There was no way you could wander the area without taking pictures and getting an adventure that you may have never expected. I know when I first visited a few years ago with my own family I couldn't have gotten enough of the place.
When I turned 18 I ran here and didn't ever want to go back there. I knew at that age that my parents couldn't do anything about it, could never get me to come back to the mainland. Not that they would have cared at that point. I looked up many of the statues and discovered their religious origins. I knew where they were all from and what they all related to. I began to practice paganism shortly after and decided to "come out of the broom closet" to my parents. The last thing they were was happy but I knew what I believed and didn't want to give it up for anyone, even them. It made me happy and paganism made me happier than I had been in years. I was virtually ignored though we all lived in the same house. They didn't want anyone that didn't already know I existed to know they even had me. Everyone that knew of me shunned me as much as I did. I found a job to make as much money as I could and come here with as much as possible. I managed to afford my ticket after a solid year of working. It seemed like it took forever but I was glad when it finally happened. I saved even more money so I could try to work on something to help me earn enough money for eat. I knew at that point it was expensive to eat here and didn't want to starve to death. I wasn't one to beg for money, either. For me that wasn't what a pagan should do when they were physically able to do it themselves. It just wasn't something that I would want to do. 
When I finished taking pictures I wanted I decided to go to my small apartment. The place was small and run down but I could usually pay the rent on time. My landlord was willing to let me be late to an extent without charging late fees. She seemed to understand since she had done the same thing when she was my age. Her family hadn't been big fans of her religious choices either but these days most pagans ate babies and worshiped Satan in the minds of many Americans. It wasn't something that was completely unexpected by me anymore. It seemed to happen more and more the longer I lived here.
I struggled to open the door which wasn't abnormal for me. The locks here had begun to rust because of all the moisture in the air and my landlady hadn't gotten around to replacing them. I didn't have anything that anyone would consider worth stealing so I wasn't too picky that it had never been replaced. I left with all of my cheap things being there and I always came back to it all. The once that I had come back to find my apartment had been broken into there wasn't anything missing. This time was no exception. No one was waiting for me either though this wasn't really expected on my end anymore. My dad had owned a top notch firm that provided private investigators. They could find anyone as long as they weren't Jimmy Hoffa. If he had wanted to discover where I'd gone it would have taken any one of his investigators less than an hour to do so. Not to mention I had left a note with my younger brother saying where I was going in case he ever wanted to find me. He even had my new address and wrote me letters on a semi regular basis.
I put my SD card into my photo printer and started printing off two copies of all of the statues that I had found that night. One copy would be added to my alter as part of my devotion to the Gods and Goddesses I'd picked to worship and the other copy were going to be included into my next letter to my brother. He was going to school to become an architect and was always looking for things like that to add to the design projects he had to turn into school. I occasionally sent him pictures of the plants around the area and of the architecture that I found here on the island to help give him more ideas. I couldn't always include them because ink could cost as much as my rent if I wasn't careful. He sometimes included money to help me out but I usually sent it back. I never wanted my brother to feel like I was a burden to him despite the fact that I was his favorite (and only) sister. It was more of a personal preference than anything. My pictures finished printing and I left them out to dry. I never liked my pictures to look smudged even though my set was likely to be burned in one ritual spell or another. For some reason they needed to look perfect for every single ritual I ever did.
I started setting up my alter for that nights ritual. I had everything almost perfectly set up for the way I wanted it to be when someone knocked on my door. I looked at my clock, it was one thirty in the morning. It was too early in the morning for it to be my landlord so I was instantly suspicious. I walked to the door avoiding all of the floorboards that I knew squeaked. I looked through the peephole to see who was there. I was surprised to see my dad there after three years of not seeing his face. Not to mention it wasn't something that anyone expected I was sure. I opened the door without removing the chain. I didn't want him to get any further than the door considering what could happen while he was there. I'd been to work with him before and knew what he was capable of doing to people that messed with him. I didn't even want to know what he wanted to to do me while he was here. With the door cracked we spent a few minutes just staring at each other. Neither of us seemed interested in even saying hello, none the less something else. He finally decided to hand an envelope through the door and walk off. I opened it and found a check for enough money to buy a house here and pay it completely off without ever having a mortgage. It looked like he was looking after me after all.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Lack of News

The news seems to fly by most

Peoples heads as they seem to

Think that what happens in the

World doesn't affect the way they

Plan to live their lives.


They don't realize how one choice

Can affect those around them, even

Those they do not know or don't

Think they know. They just keep going

As if nothing they do will cause

Their world to spin in a direction

They don't want it to go into.


So many people seem to ignore

Whatever passes in the news is

Just a small thing, something they

Can always ignore what's going on

In their world despite everything

That could happen and that could

Tear our world to its knees.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Gay rights


  • I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag every day.
  • I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
  • I am the guy that lives on the streets because I am scared to go home.
  • I am the prostitute working the streets because I can't find anybody who will hire a transsexual woman.
  • I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
  • We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
  • I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
  • I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
  • I am the Christian that can’t find a pastor to marry me to a woman in the eyes of God.
  • I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
  • I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
  • I am the child that dreams of seeing my mum again. The courts won’t let me because she lives with another woman.
  • I am the man who fears that I will never be able to be myself, to be free of this secret because I won’t risk loosing my family and friends.
  • We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
  • I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
  • I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
  • I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
  • I am the brother that gets called a fag just because my brother isn’t ashamed of who he is.
  • I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
  • I am the girl that was raped behind my school because some stranger wanted to teach me to be a “real woman”.
  • I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
  • I am the guy down the street that can’t get a disability pension because my partner is a man.
  • I am the woman who died when the paramedics stopped treating me because they found out I didn't have a female body.
  • I am the man that is afraid of losing his job, for expressing his true identity.
  • I am the mother that sees my son come home from school every day in tears because the other kids call him a girl.
  • I am the celebrity that wishes I could tell the would who I am, but I'm too scared.
  • I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
  • I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.
  • I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don’t believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
  • I am the Youth Worker that sees hundreds of kids thrown out of home because they were honest with their families.
  • I am the girl that struggles to get up in the morning because school is so cruel to me.
  • I am the footballer scared to come out because I might lose my contract.
  • I am the boy that always wanted a Barbie, but no one would let me have one.
  • I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most: love.
  • I am the woman that wants to join the army, but my family wont let me because I would look like a dyke.
  • I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends I’m a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.
  • I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to “teach me a lesson”.
  • I am the bisexual whose friends don't want her to go to a movie with them because there'll be a homophobe there, and they don't want him to get mad at them for inviting me.
  • I am the girl who can't hang out with girls because they assume that if I'm nice to them I have a crush on them.
  • I am the teenager who doesn't tell my mother the truth in fear she'll tell my homophobic father.
  • I am the bisexual who does not tell her parents for fear of being shunned for what I am.
  • I am the woman now 50 who vowed at 13 never to hide the fact I am bisexual
  • I am the woman who learned the true meaning of love and commitment from a couple together for more than 40 years I called them both Uncle
  • I am the man who lost his family, because my mother's devotion to her religion was stronger than her maternal love for her son.
  • I am a woman who lost her family, because they simply couldn't accept, that I am bisexual and I have as the same rights to be happy as everyone has.
  • We are all around you.
  • We are the millions that want the hate to end.
The truth in this list
            For many members in the GLBTQ community this is not only true but is frighteningly true. So much of this alone applies just to me, a bisexual woman who can’t tell her family because I know they would hate me just for being interested in both sexes because I don’t have an option of making a choice that doesn’t involve the sexuality I was born into. Like many others I don’t choose my sexuality, it fell into my lap and hasn’t changed since I discovered it at the age of 12. I don’t think I would change it or have it “cured” even if it was a choice, even if it could go away like so many homophobes think it can. Even with some of the people I do come out as bisexual to will laugh in my face thanks to all of the teenage girls right now that decide to say their bisexual to look cool instead of saying it because they really are (this also gains me a little crap also in the GLBTQ community because not even we know who to take seriously anymore).
            Truth is we all need to be a lot different than everyone around us. We all need to like something different and be something different than everyone else so we don’t all come out of the same cookie cutter mold that Abrahamic religions and much of society in the US thinks we should. We’re all different from each other and we all have different journeys while we were coming out of the closet. Some of us have excellent experiences coming out: we loose none of our friends, our families still love us and support us no matter what gender we choose to love (or what gender we feel we should be despite the fact our biology doesn’t agree), we can always talk to our families about things that are going on at school with other students.
Unfortunately some of us also have really bad experiences. Some of us go through what I did (and in a way still am as I continue pushing through life): our families are unsupportive and homophobic which causes us to loose our families (and possibly homes if we still live with them) when and if we choose to tell them, we loose the majority of our friends because they refuse to be seen with a GLBTQ person in public if at all, other students call out names like fag/faggot/tresbian. There seems to be no getting away from bad once it happens. People like Matthew Shepard and Lawrence King are beaten or killed because of their sexuality. These killings are never isolated, either. It’s happening all the time because someone doesn’t want to accept something about someone else no matter what it is: sexuality, race, gender, hair color, religion, ect. With all of the hate which continues to happen we all need to work on ending hate and joining together in the love every person deserves.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

More in the world of news

Immigration law in Arizona
            Many of us have heard about the new immigration law in Arizona that requires anyone who immigrates to the USA to prove their citizenship within the country. If they are caught by local police without their papers the state will deport them to their country of origin. The law isn’t exactly anything new other than the fact that a state is trying to enforce something that the federal government is already supposed to be doing. Anyone who immigrates to the US should already have their green cards with them at all times to prove they are indeed a legal resident of this country. This keeps them from being deported when police ask them to see it. The law is controversial in part because the Federal government doesn’t want to give up sole responsibility for immigration law and making sure that illegal immigration is controlled.
California Fire
            The newest fire in California is happening during a key time in tourism in the area. Most hotels are booked completely out and there is a steady flow of campers. At this point the fire isn’t contained and everyone in the area that is in harms way (as well as all of their pets, though large animals are being controlled by animal control) and there isn’t any death toll yet. Firefighters are working on containing the blaze and are working on protecting homes in the area that are yet to burn down. The cause of the fire is under investigation and it's suspected that there is a human cause behind it.
Wikileaks May Be Doing Damage
            Now that Wikileaks has decided to reveal a few thousand documents revealing the names of Afghan informants it could be a major threat to those whose names were revealed. Though fifteen thousand documents were held back because of the names held within them the people whose names are exposed could loose their lives because of what the website choose to reveal.
Jury Deliberations Begin
            Rod Blagojevich, the former governor of Illinois, has a number of charges against him including fraud and extortion. He became a bit more known on the political scene when there were rumors that he was attempting to sell the senate seat that had been occupied by Barack Obama before he won the presidential election. As more investigations came underway more had surfaced that he was committing illegal acts while he was the governor. His brother is also being charged with similar things since he was part of many of these scandals. The jury has now gone to deliberate on the ex-governors case.
Case Dropped Against New York Governor
            A young woman who was allegedly assaulted by David Patterson, the governor of New York, failed to show up to the court date. Her failure to appear made the case automatically dropped and the governor was declared innocent. Patterson allegedly threw the woman against a mirror and attempted to rip of the woman’s Halloween costume and later called her to threaten her. 

In the News

Sinking of a North Korean Ship
About 2 months ago a North Korean ship sank. There is some suspicion that a submarine exploded underneath the ship which caused a hull breech and that is what the official report in North Korea says. Considering the political election that is going on in the country right now it isn’t a surprise that this is thought to have something to do with anti-communism and that the ship was sank on purpose by someone in North Korea.
            Like many other major events in history there are conspiracy theories behind it which are being investigated. There are other options being looked at such as the boat running into a coral reef and damaging the hull. Many of the sailors on bored drowned and no deceased sea life was found in the area which makes people doubt the theory that a submarine had exploded beneath them despite reports of a submarine appearing on radar before the accident happened.

            As many people are starting to loose support in our president he seems to loose even more of his focus. With many Americans out of work he decides to work on a bill that requires large companies to show who is funding their activities. Why you may ask? To save the butts of politicians of course. Why would he bother trying to create new jobs when he could protect the cockroaches we like to call our politicians?

Over treatment of prostate cancer
            We all know that early detection and treatment of cancer is key to surviving it. Many people get yearly screenings for certain cancers. For many older men it tends to be their prostates that they tend to be the most worried about. Now doctors are starting to over treat for cancers that may not cause much harm to the man without having the entire prostate removed or receiving radiation or chemical therapy.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Cruelty Caused by Celebrity

Cruelty is becoming more and more
The norm as fewer people seem to
Want to be kind to the people around them,
Fewer seem to want to do something that
Would be against their own personal gains.

They all seem want to look for something
High profile and that will make them as rich
As the celebrities they read about in the magazines
And see on television.

They all want to be part of the newest scandal,
Be known for how much they could drink
Both before and after their rock shows.
They want to be known for getting away with
The bad behavior they know they have no chance of getting away
With in their current lives.

They all seem to want to always party and
Get short sentences that are shortened even further
By crowds of fans that seem to think that
They should get away with what they did
No matter what it may be.

Random Pick of Politics

Politics seem to be going down
The tube as fewer people seem
To understand what the politicians
Are actually saying about their own campaigns.

So many just believe what the tabloids have
To say while others don’t pay attention
To anything that’s been said at all,
They choose to go for whomever is
Their own race or whomever seems to be
The most popular candidate just so
They can claim they voted for the winner.

They don’t realize the popular and the best
Choice may be 2 different things and choosing
Politicians should take a lot more thought than
Most people are willing to put into it, more
So in the days when people would rather
Flip a coin to make their decisions.

Monday, July 26, 2010

The Loners

For years I’ve been looking for
The light at the end of the tunnel,
Looking for something to guide me
On my journey through what people
Would consider the good life when
They aren’t doing anything more
Than looking though a blank window.

They don’t know what really goes on
In the mind of someone who cant seem to
Keep anyone to call friend for long and
Doesn’t build connections the way they
Feel they should be able to.

They don’t realize that this connection with
Other human beings is something they often
Don’t want because they always seem to stab
Them in the back because they don’t want to
Have anyone that is different around them.

Often their loneliness is learned over the years
Since it is so often forced upon them at a young
Age and they never have a chance to learn
Anything different, they already know that they
Are a lot different from their peers though they often
Can’t find out why, this continues to be
Their prison, chosen or not.

Lack of Concern

I watch silently from the corner
As so many others continue on
Their day being as fake as they
Choose to be in an effort to hide
Who they really are from the people around them,
Try harder than they need to just to
Fit in with people who are doing
The exact same thing.

None of them seem to want to be
Who they really are despite the fact
That following the crowd always seems
To be the worst idea, an idea
That can sometimes be fatal if they
Don’t watch closely.

So many people are too concerned
With fitting in to noticed that anything
Around them is going wrong. They
Want to keep moving on as if nothing
Was off because they choose not to notice
And when they do they have a lack of concern.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

The Living Book

            Anyone familiar with any mainstream religions bible (Christianity, Judaism, Mormonism, Islam, ect) understand that the bible and their views on God and what is the right thing to do never changes, it never becomes any different than what it was or what it has always been. These books have been the same for centuries and people seem reluctant to question anything that is written in it once they claim to believe in what it says and what power the God within its pages says. It has created wars, started arguments, broken up families, and even condemned other religions because it wasn’t that religion. These books also often claim to be the only religion that is correct and to be followed is the religion within its pages. These are often claimed to be holy texts, often with the word bible, Koran, and many other different things on the title page. They are often the most stolen thing in book and grocery stores because of the value the pages are meant to contain despite the fact that what is contained in the book itself would condemn this type of behavior as a sin.
            Unlike these religions Paganism and Wicca doesn’t exactly have a single holy script or book that all relate to. It makes no difference to us what one coven or a single person has to say about what we believe and what we don’t, what we believe is fluid and can change as society changes and as we ourselves change. Our books of shadows are living books and change as we do. We add and subtract what we do and do not believe in that point in our life. We control what it says is a sin and what it claims will happen to us during the afterlife. We control every spell it will ever contain and can choose to remove those spells as we would remove a hangnail. We can get rid of ones that we no longer need and ones that we consider to not work.
            If you’re a solitary practice Pagan or Wiccan or in a coven the book of shadows you own a copy of should always change as you do. Never should you say what your coven believes in entirety is what you believe and never should you say what you believed was the God or Goddess is what you still believe later in your practice if that is not what you currently believe. Many of us change beliefs as we age or become more strict in what we choose to throw our faith into. We know what has been working for us and when we think it is failing to work. We choose what we believe is the best for us and what is truly our religious practice and what isn’t. Though many people give Paganism and Wicca a bad rap and place us in with Satanists and what many other non-pagan or cult groups that is far from true. We remain everyday people despite our beliefs and despite what television and movies choose to show about us they will often be wrong and we must always look for what is the truth about our religion and who the God and Goddess truly are to us.

We Were There Volume 1

            Nanami Takahashi just started high school. She’s been nervous about it for awhile and is struggling to make friends. Many of the people that go to her high school have had the same friends since middle school and alliances have been formed. She eventually hangs out with a group of girls that are already in the swing of their friendships and are very familiar with each other. All of these girls are very similar leaving Nanami to still be a bit of the odd one out. She even tries to make friends with the shyest and most anti-social girl in the class that no one else likes. To avoid not having any friends at all she sticks with these girls and even joins the student council hierarchy.
            Like many other girls in her class she develops a crush on Motoharu Yano. He’s always been popular with students and teachers and has been worry free for most of his life, not even worrying about grades. He often sleeps through class and does very well on tests despite this. Nanami really wants to get to know Yano despite him being a jerk to her in every way he can. As she gets to know him she discovers that he was dating the anti-social girls older sister, who died in a car accident the year before. She was Yano’s first love and she had cheated on him. The day she had died in the car accident he had discovered she was cheating on him and they had gotten into a fight. He blames himself for her death despite the fact there was nothing he could have done to prevent it.

The art is usual for a manga, well done and enjoyable. 3.5 out of 5.

Gimmick! Volume 1

            Kohei is used to being a Hollywood makeup artist. He’s been doing it for a long time and was well known in Hollywood for his work on famous American movies before choosing to move back to Japan and trying to gain the same fame there. He mostly does small time jobs like small B level movies and redoing the haunted house in a horror based theme park. Though most of his work involve small amounts of makeup and the occasional dummy or (on slightly more rare occasions since they are becoming out of date) animatronics he still thrives on being able to do makeup on a living person.
            Several women he helps are famous in Japan and want assistance in achieving a goal. One woman would like to get away from her abusive manager and return to her loving boyfriend whom she had to loose touch with because of her career (or so her manager said). He disguises her as an old woman and sneaks her past her manager and to the elevator before he realizes he has been tricked. The actress manages to get to the airport and fly with her boyfriend to America.
The next woman is an actress in the beginning of her career. It had been awhile since she had last acted because she had been in a severe car accident when she was supposed to be on the movie set. Rumors had begun that she had a disfiguring scar which would cause her to loose what is a major role for her, involving her first nude scene. She wanted to look like a beauty in the movie but she couldn’t do it with the scar that now runs the length of her chest. She hires Kohei to make it appear as if the rumors of the scar were untrue. The makeup is so flawless that no one knows the difference between what is makeup and what is skin.
Excellently written with great art. Readers be aware of small amounts of full nudity in the book. 4 out of 5.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Spell Checkers Volume 1

Length: 145 pages

            Three young witches are using spells to get through high school. These spells get them good grades, popularity, and anything else they want. If something doesn’t go their way they just simply use magic to fix it. When two of the three girls dolls, the source of their powers, go missing they begin loosing their powers. They all suspect someone has casted a curse against them and start looking for their dolls before they realize that this is the cause of the loss of their powers. The two girls that have missing dolls accuse the third girl of stealing them since it is her week to own their spell book and she hasn’t had any effect on her magic.
            When the only girl with her magic remaining gets rid of her parents for the weekend (with magic of course) so she can throw a huge party for her sixteenth birthday the other two girls decided to go through her room looking for their dolls. The dolls are quickly found since they were not well hidden to begin with. The third girl had claimed that she had not stolen the dolls and that she had no idea how they had gotten there. The other two dressed her as an emo and embarrassed her in front of the entire party only to discover a fourth girl was a witch and had hidden their dolls and set them against each other.

Very well written and has great artwork. You feel like you’re in the same room as these three girls and like you could actually do the magic yourself if you possessed their spell book. 4 out of 5.

The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner by Stephanie Meyer

Length: 178 pages

            A young vampire is convinced by an older vampire that they need to create a small army to destroy the Cullen coven. They have been attempting to build a coven of young vampires (less than one year of age, when their blood from when they are human is still present in their system) for some time but haven’t had much luck. Every time they add new vampires to the group much of the group (both new and old) seem to kill each other off since they are all granted lighters and they all know that this will kill them. While they are building their coven of new vampires the Volturi come and speak with them in regards to their numbers of new vampires.
            The leaders of this coven are told they have five days to do something with their newborns or the entire coven will be eradicated. With only twenty two newborns their numbers are a lot lower than the heads of the coven would like them to be. Within four days the newborns are trained to fight and are taken to forks where the Cullens are living peacefully with the LaPush werewolf pack. The fighting results in the end of the coven with the exception of the two people that had started the entire coven. The bodies were burned in the field where the battle had occurred. Since the fire smells like jasmine incense its something that was unlikely to be noticed by the town of Forks.

Of the Stephanie Meyer spin-offs of her popular series Twilight this one is the best. It goes more into depth of one of the fights shown into the book that was mostly ignored within the series. Rating: 4 out of 5.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Loss of Innocense

Not so long ago people
Used to avoid killing the
People around them no matter
How much they disliked the person

The few people that did kill
Had more respect for family
Than the people of today.

So many people now die
Because of any small thing
They have done or because
Of nothing they did.

Innocence is lost at a
Younger and younger age as
More think that killing is
A more acceptable way
Of solving a problem.

So few people learn to talk
Out a problem now that we seem
To be heading more towards
Anarchy than people are willing
To admit to themselves and
To the people around them.

The crime rates seem to be going
Out of control despite the amounts
They seem to be going down according
To the statistics the government seems
To be so willing to give us.

The innocence that we have lost
Can never be regained as the body
Bags are brought out of everywhere
And the spirits of the dead seem to want
To be avenged for what
Happened to them.

Sensitive Children

            I woke up and looked at the clock. I was up a half an hour before my alarm as usual. My insomnia seemed to be getting worse and worse instead of better. I’d tried every pill the doctor had prescribed without any luck. Even the strongest one didn’t seem to have any effect on me or my sleeping patterns. It bothered my mom how little I slept so after trying the pills for a few days before convincing my mom that they really weren’t working. She seemed disheveled that I didn’t sleep twelve hours a day like a “normal teenager”. I’d never let her know how far from normal I had always been.
            I’d been able to see and hear spirits since I was three. I used to tell my mom all about it but she claimed I was just seeing things or making things up since I was so little at the time. Eventually I figured out my mom would always consider me a liar and there was nothing I could do to convince her that her assumptions were false. I was open about it at school which didn’t earn me very many friends which probably worried her just as much. Most of my friends were just as sensitive as I was and we shared many of the same experience. We all started young with our abilities and they all endured with it.
            I rolled out of bed and walked to the kitchen. I spotted my older brother there staring at the refrigerator. He’d died in Iraq six months ago and was here sometimes. I think he stares at the refrigerator because he used to get orange juice out of it everyday before he left for the war. He never spoke when I asked questions so I didn’t have the option of finding out. Sometimes I wish he would speak so I could at least understand why he was still here, why he hadn’t moved on.
            When he noticed me watching him he slowly began to disappear. I wasn’t much surprised at this either. He had the wounds he died with in the war, most of his face was hanging off of his face and all of the skin seemed badly burned. His uniform was in tatters and made it easy to tell that he had died in an explosion. This was one of those times when I wondered where else he disappeared to during the day. I was sure home wasn’t the only place he had to visit. I know when I joined him in death that home wouldn’t be the only place I visited.
            I was worked out of my focus by our cat meowing. She wanted me to open her can of wet food since I was the earliest up. It was pretty well accepted here that I always fed her in the morning since my mother worked odd hours. Since her dry food was left in a feeder everyday it wasn’t hard to neglect doing it for a few days and have her not starve, no matter what she liked to think. I grabbed a glass of orange juice and walked into the living room.
            Turning on the news I didn’t expect to see anything surprising, at least not by my standards. More crime as usual. The churches in the area were still being burned down by some gang the cops hadn’t caught yet. More school shootings were happening in various states and were causing our home schooling rates to have a steady rise lately. Even online schooling was starting to go up some. The fire in the nearby mountains hadn’t been put out yet and they were considering evacuating all of the nearby homes to prevent the human death count from rising past zero. As it was the forest service lost nearly a million dollars worth the campgrounds and buildings.
In a way I wasn’t surprised that the forest service was loosing all of these buildings since they spent all of last years profits building and renovating all of the buildings currently on the property. That couldn’t have been good karma considering I have a feeling mother nature doesn’t like having what’s left it taken over by urban sprawl so the white collar cowboy could experience the woods in a “modern and clean” way. Why anyone thought it was camping to sleep on a concrete slab and being able to shower every day was camping I would never know. It was so much better to be away from it all in the middle of nowhere and camping for real, even if it meant smelling like a rotting skunk when I came home.
Engrossed in the news the backdoor spontaneously opened. I barely glanced behind me and noticed it was my friend Justin. He knew we hid the spare key in the front pocket of our gnomes felt pants and pretty much came and left whenever he felt like it; we could never get rid of him anyway. The only time he ever left was when he decided he needed to sleep which was about as much me these days. After he decided to stopped smoking marijuana is system switched into insomnia. He didn’t seemed to mind it much since it meant he got to spend more time with me. Considering he was like a brother to me and a son to my mom. I’m sure if his parents would let him move out this is the first place he would come. It was less haunted here and he had a chance to relax without seeing the dead.
Justin walked into the kitchen and came back with a glass of orange juice and plopped down on the couch. With the exception of the all black clothing and the excessive eyeliner he looked like he was meant to be one with the couch. He wasn’t the biggest fan of the morning news but I liked to watch it so I felt a little more connected to the world. Not to mention most of the stuff that wound up on the morning news ended up happening here on a smaller scale, not that anyone ever noticed. Whenever something happened in a small town no one seemed to ever seemed to care what small town news was unless they lived here.
“Any plans for today other than the morning news Cindy?”
“Knowing you our plans today somehow involve a funeral and doing something the sheriff will give us a long lecture for before letting us go home.”
“Considering the sheriff is my older brother I think I have the right to give him as much trouble as possible as long as I don’t do anything majorly illegal.”
“Knowing your brother he’d find a way for you to get away with murder. Both of your parents were druggies when he was growing up, I’m sure he wants you to have some sort of better life than he had.”
“For me a better life would involve getting away from a small town where an unknown street gang thinks its okay to burn down churches and kill the few monks that had lived in them.”
“You hate the churches and everything they represent. You’ve admitted to wanting to burn them down on a couple of occasions.”
“Just because I want to burn them down doesn’t mean I want the monks to die. They may be crusty old things who have never seen a vagina in their life but they still have the right to not being slaughtered like pigs. It just isn’t fair no matter who you are and what you’ve done with your life. It makes me wish we still had the mafia that only went after the people that owed them money.”
“Unfortunately the days of the mafia have ended. Now the world of organized crime has been given over to a bunch of teenagers that can’t even shoot a gun in a straight line none the less hit the broad side of a barn.”
We both laughed. Unfortunately we knew the areas gangs weren’t much to laugh at. We’d lost a friend to one because the gang member he had been shot by could shoot the gun in a straight line. He also knew how to aim it at a target and had managed to make our friends death quick and painless at least. The one other gang member I had met wouldn’t have been that kind to any of his victims. He was one of the ones that liked to play with the person for awhile, make sure that they suffered before they died as a lesson to any of the other people that crossed his path. Neither of us was sure how this proved anything to anyone considering the victim was always dead in the end and, more often than not, couldn’t tell their story.
We both sat there quietly for awhile. It wasn’t long before Justin decided he was to restless and downed both his and my glasses of orange juice and grabbed my house keys. I followed him out and watched him lock the door and start to walk away.
“Did you put the key back in the gnomes pocket?”
“Does anyone but me use that key or even know where it is?”
“I doubt it but with the way you are with keys I know it won’t get lost if it stays with the gnome.”
He took the gnomes key back in the pocket it belonged in before continuing off of the back porch. I followed him as quickly as I could but it was always hard for me to keep up with him. My dwarfism stunted my growth so badly I never got past three feet five inches. Justin, who from what I could tell was completely normal, made it to six feet two inches. When he finally noticed I was struggling to keep up he waited for a bit and them picked me up. Generally I wouldn’t mind walking there and meeting people wherever we were going but this morning I wasn’t told.
After about five minutes of walking we came into the graveyard. My brother had been buried here since my mother hadn’t wanted to opt for the free burial at the military cemetery one hundred miles away. I couldn’t say I had blamed here there, I wanted to be able to leave flowers here from time to time as much as she did. Justin found my brothers grave with ease, as if he’d come here multiple times before. As far as I knew I had never admitted that my brother had been buried here. Justin must have been asking questions of the rest of the town to figure out where he had been buried after we had become friends. We sat there enjoying the sunset and watching the dead watch us, enjoying the good friendship we both enjoyed as sensitive children.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Loosing the Earth

So many people ignore those
Who have more interest in what
Is around them than the needs they
Have for themselves.

So many people don’t realize
That the planet is dieing around them
And that something needs to
Be done about it before it’s gone.

The earth is giving us all
Of the signs it can that it is dieing
But so many of them go
Unnoticed because so many
Figure there must be another planet
Out there for us and for our pets.

The possibility that our earth is the
Only one, that there is nothing
Else that we can find is something few
Are willing to accept despite all
Of the evidence that it may be the
Only one that can hold any life
Without unnatural changes.

With luck we can save our
Planet, make it so she lives and supports
Us for many more years and we don’t
Have to worry about loosing our
Lives until we finally loose our sun.

Expecting too much

Everyone looked at a single man
To change their country and to
Change their lives as they
Choose to accept them.

So much is placed on one
Man while few choose to
Accept there is nothing this man
Could do to change an entire
Country of people who often
Don’t want to be the change
They want to see in the world.

They all look at someone who doesn’t
Know how to convince this
Entire country to change as well
As all of its politicians
To do more than any 1 man could possibly
Do for them.

Ignoring the Issues

The young often see more
In something than the old
Are willing to admit to themselves
Or to anyone else their own age.

They don’t want them to possibly
Know more than they do
Because of their young age.

They don’t like the thought that
Someone they would consider young
Could possibly know anything about
Life despite everything they’re
Forced to see with their lives.

All that they see are things adults
Would pass off as part of growing
Up instead of seeing them as the serious
Issue they can be and are
To so many young people, how
They could possibly cause the
Ending of a young life.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

The Black Mass

            The 20th year had just begun. Every senior demon knew what this meant: tonight at midnight would be the beginning of the true black mass, the one hosted by Satan himself instead of the ones held by the infamous Satanists that so many of the humans were often so afraid of. It was a required ceremony for every demon to attend in order to keep their so called lives under Satan’s tight role. It was new to none of us. We could all transport to the location without much thought had any of us known it beforehand. Satan often just transported us all there himself; he did it with even less thought than we did and it gave none of us a reason to forget or pretend to forget. The last time he let us do it ourselves 99% of us didn’t even bother show. It isn’t like I would blame any of us, we loved our king like the angels loved God, his speeches were just dry to most.
            I glanced at my watch (keeping perfect time with Hell itself, as always) and noticed that midnight was almost here. Being in a public place I stepped into a dark alley so my sudden out of nowhere disappearance wouldn’t be noticed by the spectators. Newer demons (usually a new one came a year, after his speeches) wouldn’t know that they were called like that and would scare the humans when they were physically there and suddenly gone. I’d scared a few of the homeless in my time but they weren’t ones that many believed. In many cases they didn’t believe even themselves since it had often been years since they last had any valid contact with any other humans. I know I wouldn’t believe myself if I didn’t have a drink or two with a demon or two every once in awhile. I far from blinded myself when it came to my disappearances. Being in one place and ending up somewhere else scared me some, too. Sometimes it was necessary to fill my “freak out the religious” quota, not to mention demons were often summoned by various occult followers.
            Midnight hit and I appeared in the church for the ceremony. Another fancy Catholic church with very gothic architecture. Judging by a small amount of the granite molding beginning to crumble I would say that it was from the time period, not something build later. The pews still looked well used and there were bibles in them that looked like they appeared to just have been bought. I’m unsure how he had desanctified what appeared to be holy ground to the human eye but he always seemed to be able to do it somehow. I felt bad for any humans who came here to avoid our persecution since we could now step within the church. Many of them relied on places like this to keep themselves safe from us. It would take one of the oldest demons, willing to kill without putting much thought into it, for the priest or monks to realize that they had lost this precious commodity that they promised to offer their followers. The graveyard around back was still sanctified, however. I could still see the glow of light emanating from it. Though it wasn’t as strong as that in a church it would still be too painful for a demon to step onto it. Most people didn’t think of a graveyard as a saving grace, though.
            I sat in a pew in the back. I had a book hidden in my jacket that I could read while ignoring his greatness. It was considered rude to ignore him while he was speaking but he just updated us on the past 20 years in Hell, usually it was the usual torture countless believers, new litters of Hell hounds being born, some human Satanists rising to the occasion to train said litters and run their own packs of dogs. Something that many of us were used to hearing. None of it the most interesting thing ever. We heard the obituaries in our thoughts (very rare considering most of us knew that only disobeying Satan’s order for your quota was the only way to die but eternal life wasn’t for all of us) immediately on the demon’s death. Five minutes after all of the current demons seemed to have filed into the church and took seats Satan himself came in.
            The first hour was his usual announcements. I read the book I had brought leaving my ears open for the rare question that would pop up. This time there was only one, if Hell had indeed been very prosperous with its soul gathering this year. Seemed like it considering 3,000,000 souls entered hell this year that no god or goddess seemed to want to claim. Usually less than 1,000,000 souls were claimed. Many wanted good followers to continue to be so. A new announcement caught my attention: Satan was dieing, he would be announcing his replacement for almost immediate replacement tonight.
            I marked my spot in my book and placed it back in my pocket. This was an announcement I wanted to hear. I had a feeling it would be going to one of the oldest demons but it was always nice to hear the original name of the one taking over. He seemed to hesitate for a moment, as if going through names in is head like he hadn’t already drummed up the perfect person in his head long beforehand. He was a stickler for good planning and his predecessor would likely be the same way. Ammit and myself were the only 2 demons I could think of that bothered plan anything out. Most demons were trigger happy with what they did. When I heard the name Qenna called I started to pull my book back out before realizing it was my own name that had been called. I stood and walked to the podium.
            He explained that robes would be fitted for me and it would take a week for my new horns and tail to grow in to the degree that a Satan figure needed. It would also take his death in 2 weeks time for powers to transfer to me. This was only a short period in many of our lives (I personally am already 110,893 years old) and it was an honor to be picked. It might mean a little less traveling depending on the need for me in Hell but it also meant no more quotas and a long term home, saying nothing in the form of a demon disease forms (though they do occasionally happen, this Satan had ruled for 600,000,000 years before contracting one and none are contagious). I was ready to take on the position for as long as I could have it.

Death has no bounds

Looking to the future is something
So many do so they don’t have to
Think about the death that is
Inevitable for them no matter what
They try to do to put it off.

It seems to come whenever it feels like
No matter the age of the person,
No matter what they do to keep healthy
And to make sure their quality of
Life stays as high as they can possibility
Be without being unhealthy.

Death never knows any bounds or
Has any restrictions on where it decides
To go and what it does to the lives of
The people it interrupts.

Death has no plans and nothing that it
Wants to do despite what people would
Like to think, no matter how much they
Would like to think death would never
Come after the young.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Within a Pack

            I unlocked the front door to the compound. I’d been living with the same pack for about six months now. It was a really large pack by our standards but I’d enjoyed the lifestyle that came with this size of pack. I’d grown up in a small pack, one where people were jealous of whoever had a better lover than themselves and one only had a single lover at any single time. I was more annoyed by the single lover standard than anything else. I always looked for sex for fun instead of sex for mating purposes. With the smaller packs (usually 10 people) there was only a new birth or two every few years as two couples were chosen to have the next child. I left my pack and the man chosen to be my lover in an effort to find a pack that would free me from those social norms. I found that in my current pack, the numbers here ranged from three hundred members to four hundred members. It seemed to fluctuate every day as people changed packs while others started small packs of their own.
            I moved on to my room on the third floor of the building. We kept no locks on the room doors. Unlike with humans we had no thieves among our kind. We only had to worry about humans breaking into the compound and stealing anything that they thought might be valuable to other weres. In the twenty years the compound had been standing a break in hasn’t happened. It made me feel confidant to live in this place, like I didn’t have to worry about everything that I chose to leave here during the day as I went about my mundane day in a human candy shop. Luckily enough for me it was only a part time job and I only kept it when I felt like splurging on my bondage gear.
            I opened my room to find it empty. Considering the long string of lovers I’d had over the past few months this was slightly unusual. I guess many of them had gotten a bit bored or had moved on to other lovers. It didn’t seem like as many of us had bondage fetishes had happened for as long as I had thought. So far I was the only one who had kept it for more than a few weeks. I opened my closet door to find a body in my closet. It was badly mangled and had been clearly murdered. I walked over to my desk and pressed the silent alarm that would notify the alphas that there was a problem in my room. Instead of putting my coat in the closet I tossed it across the bed. The last thing I wanted to do was mix more of my scent with the body than was needed. Knowing how the alphas investigated things they would want to get a good scent of the body and any scents that clearly didn’t match it or of anything we used on the compound. It would bring to light the murderer, of whom I expected was on the compound.
            The alphas arrived quickly. They saw the problem instantly and saw no need to ask me any questions about it. That was something I was happy with, I didn’t want to talk anymore than I already had today. There was nothing I could really add to this, anyway. It was by complete accident that I even discovered the body in the first place, there was nothing I could add. Judging by the fact that there was no rot to the body yet it may have been tomorrow morning before I discovered it there had I not decided to use my closet. As they were sniffing the body I realized how the dead were would have a relation to me: we had been having sex the night before. It seems odd that he would end up in my closet of all places. I knew he had a regular lover, I saw the two of them together almost every day since I started here. I couldn’t help but wonder if she could have done it.
            The alphas ran out of the room at a speed that I hadn’t seen in a long time. I decided to head down to the meeting room now. I figured they’d be down there to make the announcement soon anyway. The killer was most likely within the pack and they would call it to announce his or her name soon anyway. I wanted a good seat so I could clearly see the face of the person that had decided to leave a dead body in my closet. Though it was just an awkward coincidence that I’d had sex with him I would love to see what the real motivation for leaving him there was. Surely it couldn’t solely be for that reason considering everyone here had sex with anyone at any time.
            Upon entering the meeting room two senior weres were already setting up the ritual fire. They must have been warned that we were all going to be called here soon by one of the alphas assistants. I picked a seat close to the front so I could easily see the face of the person. Being relatively short (I stand at only 4’2”) it was impossible for me to see when sitting anywhere else in the room. I was the shortest person here, the next closest person to my height would be 6’6” and that was a stretch for me.